When in a relationship, you may find yourself treading on eggshells. This is all the truer if you and your partner have just embarked on your journey together. You may find yourself holding back on your emotions and feelings for fear of what the other person would think.
It’s all well and good to take your partner’s feelings into account. However, you would probably reach a stagnant place in your relationship if you don’t try to get closer to them. Below are a few ways on how the two of you could come closer without things getting too rushed or scary:
Being in a relationship with someone means you have to try and strike a balance of sorts. It’s a general rule of thumb to not look too needy or clingy. At the same time, you also don’t want to come off as stand-offish. The above tips could hence really help out, especially if you’re new at this.
7. Be Generous, but within Limits
They know that you like them, but a little gift always gives one a warm fuzzy feeling. However, make sure that the gifts are not too over-the-top. If you’re still getting to know each other, breaking the bank wouldn’t really help you in the future. Spending too much money may create unrealistic expectations about the future. You may also find yourself broke for the next of the year. Hence, spend wisely so that you can keep up the good work for the long haul.
Gifts could be as simple as sending them lunch when they’re at work. If they’re a little under the weather, soup or a hot drink may be more than welcome. This could cause them to smile in the middle of a hard day, resulting in brownie points for you!
6. Well-Placed Texting
A new couple would probably be tempted to text all day. Alternatively, they may even call each other at work. This is not only unethical but results in wasted time. The frustration your partner experiences would then be linked to their interactions with you. Needless to say, this isn’t the best way to make a relationship go forward.
It is hence recommended that you keep the texting to a minimum during the day. This would allow both of you to focus on your tasks, and leave you free to get in touch later. Make sure that you do text them when you know they’re back home and resting. Of course, the time and frequency of testing and calling should depend on the nature of your jobs. Your personalities and general schedules would also have a say in it.
However, do weigh in with them every day. You may not meet them, which is a different issue for the next point here. You do want to let them know they are in your thoughts. Testing or talking at the end of the day would foster a sense of closeness and familiarity. If they are relaxing along with reading your words, this would make them more comfortable with you. This is also a good way for both of you to talk about yourselves without it getting in the way of anything else.
5. Have a Breather
This brings us to the point of not spending every single waking moment with your significant other. If you’re just starting out, either of you may be ready to have someone by your side 24/7. You may even be married, but that is just another reason for letting the two of you have their own space.
Ideally, one should spend little breaks away from their partner every now and then. Go away to stay with family or even take a little trip on your own. However, make sure to schedule some quality time with each other. Spending time apart as well as together is the balance one needs in every healthy relationship.
4. Focus on Knowing, Not Planning
If the two of you are getting to know each other, focus on that aspect of your relationship. You may dream of traveling the world in the future, but this is not the time to put pressure on these plans. Bring them up, by all means, but you may want them to take a back seat if you want to make your connection strong.
The same goes for starting a family, buying a house, moving to a new city, etc. These are all long-term plans which should not be the main topic of discussion right now. They are immensely important, but you need to have a proper basis for discussion first.
For now, focus on knowing the person in front of you. Get to know their likes, dislike, values, and history. Bringing up huge life goals can be worrisome for the two of you and put undue pressure on your new relationship.
3. Learn When to Fight
Fighting is inevitable when two human beings get together. There’s no guarantee that the two of you would be any different. However, you need to know when a topic is worth fighting over, and when it’s better to just let go. There’s nothing in a relationship if there isn’t compromise and trust. You may get irritated when they’re late for an important date, but consider if they do this on a regular basis. If the answer is no, it’s probably best to let the matter slide.
Enjoying the company of the other person sometimes means letting go of the little issues that crop up. This is also a natural part of growing up, so welcome to adulthood! Not everyone can make your life just how you want it to be. Problems would come up, as would little irritations.
Knowing when to raise your voice on a certain issue is just as important, though. If your partner turns out to be a habitual liar, it’s time to talk to them about it. Moreover, if they are rude to staff at restaurants or any other place, calling them out is quite necessary. At all events though, be respectful and try to deal with the matter in private.
2. Find Out the Right Language
There are at least five languages of love that people respond to. According to some experts, these are Quality Time, Acts of Service, Gifts, Physical Touching, and Words of Affirmation. You and your partner may be highly responsive to any combination of these. At the starting point in your relationship, it is helpful if you find out which one your partner connects with the most.
Of course, this would require a bit of experimentation. Try out all five on your significant other and see how they react. Some people may need verbal affirmations of how you feel. Other would be happy when you show your love in actions, not words. You would have to be on the alert and see which language makes them the most content. You may also find out your own love language and convey your needs to them.
1. Accept Some Silence
Sometimes, you wouldn’t get an instant response to your text. Sometimes, your partner may be too busy to receive your call or even call back. If this happens every single time, it may be a cause for alarm. However, it may also be a one-off thing. As discussed above, it is better not to call or even text your spouse when they’re likely to be busy. If you do, be prepared to wait.
You may also want to sometimes send a message that needs no answer. It could be a meme, a funny or thoughtful click, or just an interesting link. It could brighten up their day and let them know you’re there for them.
You may also want to text to show them support, such as on the first day of a new job or if they have an important presentation coming up. Even in these cases, don’t always make a non-response and issue. If you give them their space, they may appreciate you all the more.